First things first, in my opinion and [not that you asked for it], but God led me to share it anyway. 😁 I feel that so many Christians do not fully walk into relationship with God, rather roll through religious motions. Understanding the dynamic of the relationship God desired to have with me, changed the course of my life as I knew it. It turned religious bondage that often felt like it was hurting me, more than helping me, into a relationship with God that was healing me day by day.

My understanding of God's desired relationship with humanity has been evolving over the course of my life. However, working through so much distorted teaching to get to the true intention has just more recently taken root. This isn't meant to be a quick fix that ensures you wake up tomorrow, walking in healthy relationship with God. Like any decent relationship, it takes time, commitment, trust, intentionality, and desire.

Many of the decisions that I have made throughout the course of my life came from an 'unhealthy' fear of God. Don't hear what I am not saying, because fear of God is an absolute.

But the fear I had developed was based off [2] things:

[1] a relationship between He and I was unattainable

[2] I had to earn His love and ultimately my salvation

Growing up, I learned about a God that was in the business of 1 or 2 chances and any sin more than that become unforgiveable.... because there wasn't true repentance. I desperately wanted to do right by God. So, I found myself trying to earn his love, in order to earn my salvation. I constantly fell short. I constantly found myself discouraged and scared. And at some point, I quit trying. I started avoiding all things Jesus. Church, the bible, people that represented the church, I avoided entirely. Because I didn't need anymore reminding of the failure I was.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?  -Romans 7:21-24

At some point, I would find myself judging my success based off what the world celebrated. Promotions, houses, cars, appearance, how well my son did in football, how well my children were dressed, etc. But the more 'successful' I became, the more empty I felt. There was always this void, I couldn't quite fill. But, I'd spend many more years, climbing corporate ladders, adding zeros to my salary, and highlighting my kid's sports achievements before I realized those were all temporary.

If you haven't learned by now, I am an open book. Never again, will I be so ashamed of parts of my testimony, that I stay silent. Understood? Good.

Now that we all understand, the #1 question I have been asked since sharing my testimony is:

WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET MARRIED SO QUICK?

The answer is short really: I had an unhealthy fear of God. 

But allow me to elaborate further: I believed that what I was shown was true love, because I deserve death and hell, so anything other than that was love and I should be grateful.

IF YOU HEAR NOTHING ELSE I SAY, PLEASE READ and RE-READ THIS NEXT PART CAREFULLY: 

I did absolutely deserve those things, we all do. UNTIL JESUS. HE WAS EVERYTHING I am not. HE MADE UP EVERYTHING I lacked. HE MADE ME WHOLE, WORTHY, and DESERVING. HE DIED FOR MY SINS SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO! nothing jennifer did, EVERYTHING JESUS DID.

Its not your Pastor's job to save you. Its not Jennifer's job to save you. Not your mama's, daddy's, best friend or significant other's. It is our job to point you to Jesus - He will do all the saving.

"Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” 
-2 Corinthians 7:8-9

This one verse was drilled into me as a teenager. It ultimately led to me rushing into marriages so quickly each time. Please be kind when you email to argue this, I know it ruffles feathers.

But, learning that God desires a PERSONAL relationship with us, changes things.

If you read the about me section of the website, you know that I DO believe in the importance of the physical church. When I moved passed all my childhood church hurt, I realized that Pastors have to reach the majority in the sanctuary and they do that in about 45 minutes. There isn't enough time to cover every scripture that relates to their sermon topic. There is a level of responsibility for us to build off the foundation they lay.

But, we are often so discouraged from the fire and brimstones message that were terrified to look any further.

But the truth is, when you understand the magnitude of love Jesus has for you, you will desire that relationship with Him. HE CHOSE you just as you are. He died for your sins long before you were born. <<<< this very concept opened my eyes to the fact that His love and my salvation, cannot be earned. It was offered long before I would accept it.

When I experienced relationship with Jesus in EVERY ONE OF THE RELATIONSHIP TYPES - there I began to have understanding of His desired relationship with humanity

Types of Relationships

• Romantic | Intimately connected and share trust, respect, fondness, and a mutual desire to support and grow together.

• Parent-Child | Love, boundaries, developing, unconditional love. Parent-child relationship have significant impact on the child's future relationships and their ability to regulate their emotions appropriately.

• Mentor-Mentee | Trust, respect, open communication, perseverance to overcome obstacle[s], and understanding of other's perspective. There's an unnatural power imbalance, which is what makes it different.

Aasmundsen-Fry, PSY.d, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of MindWell, summed up the dynamic of this relationship with the following: “Mentors gain meaning and satisfaction out of the supervision and guidance of a mentee as well, especially when free choice is involved. The mentee benefits the most by receiving the guidance, advice, and training while growing professionally in a way that education alone cannot provide.” 

• Friendship | Prevent loneliness, increase your sense of belonging, boost your happiness and self-worth, and help you cope with hardships. 

Healthy Relationships include,

• Listening and communicating without judgment [open/honest communication]

• Trusting and respecting one another

• Making time for each other [prioritizing]

• Working as a team

• Feeling whole / complete

• Shared values and goal

  
  

Is your relationship with God healthy or unhealthy? Ask yourself the following questions.

• Do I feel safe with my partner?

• Can I be myself around this person?

• Can I tell them how I really feel?

• Do we listen to one another’s concerns?

• Do I trust them?

• Does my partner support me?

Hopefully, your mind is considering the dynamics of your relationship with Jesus. Where is it strong and where does it needs to grow? Talk to Him about it! Ask Him to show you how He desires to walk with you.

"I will send you the Helper from the Father. The Helper is the Spirit of truth who comes from the Father. When he comes, he will tell about me" 
- John 15:26

But the helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. - John 14:26

I'll close by answering this question: Religion or Relationship?.... or both?

My answer: Both. Without religion [the law / old testament] you would never understand your need for a Savior and desire a relationship with the one who saved you.

Well then, am I suggesting that the law of God is sinful? Of course not! In fact, it was the law that showed me my sin. I would never have known that coveting is wrong if the law had not said, “You must not covet." 
-Romans 7:7

So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it. -Romans 7:14-17

Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin. -Romans 7:25

Jesus loves you and I am trying,

Jennifer #sittingwithsinners